Love, Logic and The Strong Willed Child

Sometimes I wish kids were a little more like cars. Wouldn't it be nice if your little bundle of joy arrived with an owner's manual which provided specific care and maintenance instructions based on how your kid was 'wired'? It would describe which behaviors required a parental tune-up and which behaviors just indicated the need for a little more TLC. Unfortunately, kids arrive with no such manual (at least mine didn't), and instead, you find yourself purchasing a different manual for each parenting dilemma you face. Here's my take on a few of the recent manuals I've read or purchased:

How to Get your Kid to Eat, but not too much!
Purchased because dinner times were becoming battle times with my oldest little darling. It was not uncommon for us to spend 45 minutes trying to get our fully capable almost three year old to ingest a single bite of food. There were times in frustration that I would say, "Alexa, you can either eat your lunch or you can go to bed right now!" and this tiny little firecracker would choose to go to bed because she knew what mommy really wanted her to do was eat! I was very doubtful that the philosophy put forth in this book would actually work. Basically, it says your job as a parent is to get healthy food into the house and to offer it to your child at scheduled times (breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack). Your child's job is to eat and determine how much to eat. So we tried this. I would fix lunch and put both mine and Alexa's plates on the table (and of course Billy's when he's home!). I would then tell her it was lunch time, and she would reply with her standard, "I don't want to eat." But instead of making her sit at the table, I told her she didn't have to eat, but mommy was hungry, and I was going to eat now because we wouldn't get an opportunity to eat again until snack time. And I would begin eating. Would you believe that the little munchkin would then within five minutes be sitting at the table with me, bless her food, and begin eating, as if she never told me she didn't want to eat? Amazingly enough, this tactic actually worked...

Love and Logic
To me, some of the ideas presented in this book seem to have a rather idealistic approach to how kids behave. I could see how some of the methods could be effective, but others seemed to be designed for kids who were not quite as um, independent, as my oldest. One particular idea presented, which actually worked well...for a little while...was a method to get your child to pick up his or her toys. Instead of constant nagging, the parent was to say "You only have to pick up the toys you want to keep" and basically, any toys not picked up became the parent's toys which were stored where the child could not reach them and the child has to do chores to earn the toys back. Seemed great! Worked for a little while...then, at the end of a rather tense day, it was time to clean up and I used the magic phrase. Alexa surveyed the toys on her floor (as if evaluating their worth to her), then climbed atop her bed and replied "Those are mommy's toys" while indicating with her hands the toys on her floor. Then, perfectly content, she remained on her bed and watched me pick up her toys and place them in a plastic sack! Hmmm...this tactic might need a tune-up...

The Strong Willed Child
This book was purchased recently in hopes that it would provide a little more insight into the often baffling behavior of my darling daughter. So far, what I've read seems consistent with her behaviors and points out that strong-willed children feed off the frustration of their parents, therefore the parents need to remain calm in the face of adversity (this is a common theme found throughout all the books, yet for me, it's one of the more difficult points to implement). Hopefully as I read further, it will provide some helpful pointers!

I know that raising children will always present challenges, and perhaps my constant searching for a book with all the answers seems a little optimistic and a bit silly. But the quest for parenting knowledge stems from an overwhelming love for my children and the desire to do everything possible to raise them to be confident and competent adults...a desire every parent I know shares. And even on a rough day, when tantrums abound and tears flow freely, a single hug, an innocent smile, or a simple, "I love you Mommy," can melt my heart and again remind me that there is nothing else I'd rather do!

But if anyone else has recommended reading material, I'm open to suggestions! :)

Motherhood Mayhem

I have managed to survive (somewhat!) one of the true tests of motherhood--flying on an airplane with two small children! We went to Texas for a week to introduce Brody to his extended family (and some very proud great-grandparents). Billy was in Ft. McCoy, so the kids and I made the trip alone. The flight out was uneventful, but the return flight to South Carolina was an adventure, to say the least! The plus side of this story is that the flight was fairly empty, therefore eliminating the chance that anyone witnessed my peril! We boarded the flight on time, taking our seats in the last row of the plane, however, there was an extremely long line of planes waiting to take off, so we sat on the runway, waiting our turn, for 45 minutes. It was probably after about 35 minutes that Brody decided to have the largest diaper blow-out of his entire life--the diaper never stood a chance. I watched helplessly as contents spilled out both leg holes and then felt the tell-tale warmth upon my hand as it crept up his back, soaking the onesie and the blanket. The pilot was continuously saying "we'll be departing soon...please remain in your seats." I thought perhaps we would be able to hold out until we took off, but Brody had other plans as he then decided to relieve himself, and as his diaper was already saturated, he proceeded to soak the front of his onesie and in the process, my shirt! I couldn't leave Brody in that predicament for an undetermined length of time, nor could I get up to change him, so with Alexa's help, we grabbed the diaper bag and began to clean him up. It would be while my son was sitting in my lap wearing nothing but the skin he arrived in that the plane was able to take off! When we arrive in Columbia, finally, Alexa informed me that she needed to potty. We quickly hit the bathroom and much to my dismay, I realize this bathroom does not have a changing table inside any of the stalls, so, I create a pallet on the bathroom FLOOR to lay my baby down. I then help Alexa get on the potty, but we weren't quite in time, so as I turn to grab a fresh set of pants for her, I hear her start crying, "Mommy I fall in the potty!" I turn around to see that Alexa, in her attempt to grab the toilet paper, lost her balance and dunked her entire hind end (and half of her back) into the toilet! As I surveyed my surroundings, my toddler in the toilet and my baby on the floor, I really wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry...needless to say, we all had baths as soon as we finally made it home that evening!

Other exciting news over the past month (oops! I haven't updated this in a while):

• Alexa turned three on August 2nd (see photos below of her b-day party in SC and TX)
  
• Brody had his two month checkup and now weighs 11 pounds! (a whopping 4 pounds more than his birth weight!)
• Billy was promoted to Captain
  
• He had a week home from Ft. McCoy so we got to hang out as a family
• While in town, Billy got Brody to laugh for the very first time on August 16th!

At the end of the month, we will be making yet another unaccompanied plane trip-this time to Utah. If anyone has any travel tips to make for a smoother journey, be sure to share! :)

Birthday Photos!

South Carolina Celebration - I did a terrible job remembering to take pictures, so all I have (besides ones of her unwrapping gifts) are these two--Alexa playing with her kitchen from Uncle John and Aunt Misty, and Alexa with the cake and Elmo cupcakes she helped me decorate!













Here are photos from our Texas celebration! We added Cookie Monster to the cake and as you can see, Alexa really enjoyed the Cookie Monster cupcakes!! The last photo is of Alexa with cousins Haylee and Hannah.

Other Photos!

Brody still hasn't really taken to a binky, however, he does enjoy his thumb and his fingers! No wonder they couldn't ever get a good ultrasound image of his mouth!!













Alexa and Haylee helped me make the cake and cupcakes for Alexa's party












Here we have our little Texans--of course, I apparently haven't taught Alexa enough about Texas icons. She opened this gift from Haylee and exclaimed, "Oh! A cow shirt!"












This one's just a cute photo of the two kids together after bath time













I realized when looking through some of my previous posts that I never put up a picture of Alexa's room in the rental house, so here it is!